For Love
by SnowWhiteandDopey
Summary: Season 4 Episode 1 - Jaime has returned to Ojai after her ordeal "On The Run". What does life hold for her now?


Jaime was relieved to see her familiar surroundings but all the emotions of the previous week hit her when she walked into her home. All the broken furniture and the broken mirror were bitter reminders of what she'd been through. After she settled in she started to clean up the mess. Cleaning up the mess she called her life would take a lot more effort. Jaime decided to take a walk with Max to clear her head.

Walking was such a great way to think. Oh boy, had she been thinking over the past week and now she couldn't stop. It all was so overwhelming. Jaime was restless. It had started months ago. Being called a "robot lady" by a young girl who saw her bionic arm was just the last straw. She had blamed the negative atmosphere of the OSI but now she realized it was more than that. During her time on the run Jaime had started to be honest about what was causing her restlessness. What did she want from her life? She had told herself that she had wanted a quiet and normal life but she now decided that wouldn't be enough. She loved helping people – her time in the OSI had shown her that. Jaime had loved teaching but now it was becoming routine. She wasn't as excited about it as she had been when she started 3 years ago. Frankly she had gotten her educational degree as a backup plan once her tennis career ended. She now had ideas of something more but what.

Jaime wanted to make a difference in people's lives. She didn't mind hard work. She just wanted to do something she could be passionate about. The OSI job she had volunteered for out of a sense of responsibility had become a thorn in her side. It had become too much like a James Bond novel. It also interfered in her life. Jaime would start to feel settled then another mission would come along and everything would be turned upside down. She loved the people – Oscar, Rudy, Callahan, Russ and Lynda – but they would be her friends no matter what. After her run in with the NSB, Jaime was stuck with being an agent. She suspected that Oscar would adjust her schedule however she wanted it. Looking back she should have just gone to him in the first place instead of trying to resign. He would have done whatever he could to help her work through the problem. As usual she had just gotten something in her head and ran with it.

Jaime's love life was another source of confusion. She had dated lots of men and enjoyed their company. People still remembered that she was once going to marry Steve Austin, not that she remembered. She had lost all memories and feelings for Steve 3 years before. Jaime felt that her surrogate parents, Helen and Jim Elgin, still wanted her to get back with Steve, who was their son. Jaime felt sad and guilty about losing her memories but it wasn't of her doing. She and Steve had spent time together but nothing was re-kindled. Jaime and Steve had now moved on but the regret of what might have been was still there.

For the last 5 months Jaime had been dating Chris Williams. They weren't serious or at least she wasn't serious. This bothered her. Chris seemed to like her much more than she liked him. He might even be in love with her. He was a good man with a nice career and a desire for a family. He also was great looking and had dreamy eyes. He was serious and a bit old-fashioned which counteracted her impetuous nature. Jaime had an idea that Chris wanted a stay-at-home wife who took care of the kids. As much as Jaime wanted to be a wife and mother, the traditional life wasn't for her. Jaime also wished he were more playful. They'd spent some vacations together and gone on some missions too. They had a good partnership. All in all, there couldn't be a more stable guy around than Chris.

One thing that bothered her was how he was always willing to submit to the wishes of others. She'd never seen him stick up for anything or anyone. When a terrorist group poisoned her to persuade her to reveal Oscar's location so they could kill him, Chris begged, pleaded and argued with her to tell them. Jaime would have rather died than betray anyone much less someone as close to her as Oscar. When the NSB wanted to stick her in a retirement community or so they called it, she called it a zoo, Chris had come to her to try talking her into submitting. He told her he would go to the zoo with her. Jaime Sommers was not one to be chained up so she told gave him a few choice words then ran off. Jaime and Chris made up when she got back from her ordeal but his reaction to what happened concerned her.

Complicating her romantic life was Oscar Goldman. Looking back on their relationship, Jaime smiled and shook her head. They had hit it off the moment they met. She'd been told that he was a serious, hard nosed boss by Steve. He could be serious and pompous that's true but Oscar showed her a different side. He was sweet, gentle and just plain goofy when the mood struck. It seemed that he sometimes said the most stupid things for no other reason than to make her laugh. He loved to tease her and be teased by her. When they were together there was much eye rolling and laughter. Jaime lost count of the times they had each put their own lives, literally, on the line for the other. There was nothing either wouldn't do for the other. They trusted each other completely. She'd seen Oscar some over the years on what could be called dates. He was just so comfortable to be with there was no nervousness around him as there was with other men. They had shamelessly flirted with each other but they had avoided anything beyond that. Jaime reddened a little when she admitted to herself that it had crossed her mind to go beyond their usual "hello" kisses. Sometimes they looked at each other and the atmosphere was electric. It seemed that they were on the verge of something but neither of them made a move.

Oscar's arrival the week before threw her entire life in disarray. He told her of the NSB's plans to put her away in a zoo. He then told her to run away as he didn't want to see her lose the freedom that was so important to her. By his actions, it could have been claimed that he had disobeyed orders or had even committed treason. On his way out the door, he said it. The simple words "I love you" shook her to the core. She remembered that he had to practically pull her off him before he could leave. Jaime finally admitted to herself and him that she loved him. Was the declaration one made because of the emotionally charged situation or was that how they both really felt?If it was genuine, was love enough?

That was a big question in Jaime's mind. As Director of the OSI, Oscar worked all hours and had a target on his back. How many times had he or the people around him been shot at, kidnapped or otherwise terrorized in the 3 years she'd known Oscar. Then there was the age difference and the fact that he was technically her boss. What would the Secretary or the NSB make of them being a couple? A life-long bachelor, did Oscar want to be in a relationship, marry or have children? In her heart, Jaime was afraid of the answers.

It was getting dark when Jaime realized where she was. She and Max had walked for miles. There was just so much to mull over. When she finally arrived home, Jaime saw on the answering machine that Chris had called. He wanted to know when she would be returning to Washington. Jaime didn't want to return his call, yet. She didn't know what to tell him. Maybe tomorrow after she relaxed things might look clearer. At least that's what she hoped.

Jaime curled up in her bed to get some troubled sleep. Her dreams were filled with memories. Chris' look of great concern for her as he pleaded that she reveal Oscar's location, kisses shared with Chris during a vacation at that snowy cabin and them trying to get into that weird pyramid. Jaime's subconscious remembered running to the safety of Oscar's arms, the two of them escaping from that awful Romero by running arm-in-arm towards a rescue boat and Jaime woke up laughing from Oscar saying "We don't have a…ghost of a chance of catching our airplane." Jaime's last conscious thought before drifting off again was Oscar saying "I love you'.

Jaime was up early still thinking. She really needed to get away from her thoughts but they just wouldn't go away. She was interrupted by a knock at the door. For a quick second her heart stopped. Who could it be? It turned out to be her surrogate mother Helen.

"Jaime, we're so glad your back. Jim and I were so worried when those awful men came. No sooner than they left Oscar came with Max to tell us what had happened. He was so upset. He'd watched the entire time from the hill above the barn. Now tell me how it all worked out?" Helen was agitated and worried waiting for the response.

"Oh Mom, I'm OK." Jaime related the whole story as she knew it. She wasn't surprised that Oscar had stuck around after the NSB left. Helen drew her into a big hug as she finished relating the events. The phone rang but Jaime let it ring.

Helen looked at Jaime when she heard Chris' voice. "You're not answering?" asked Helen.

"No" Jaime responded with a heavy sigh. "It's complicated. I don't know what to do but I know I need to do something."

"Jaime, calm down. Tell me about it. Why aren't you talking to Chris?"

"Okay, here goes. I think Chris is in love with me but I'm… not in love with him. I've been avoiding getting too serious with him because…I…don't know what I want. He's a great guy and I like him but…" Jaime looked at her Mom in a way that hopefully she would understand.

"I think you've been hoping your feelings for Chris would change given time but they aren't, are they?"

"Yeah. Chris is exactly like the guy I've always said I wanted. I don't know…it is me or…"

"Or there's someone else." Helen caught Jaime's eyes and gave her a sympathetic look.

Jaime looked at Helen surprised that she somehow knew. She's probably thinking its Steve. How can I tell her the truth when I'm so afraid to even think it? "Yeah" was all Jaime could say.

Helen gently asked, "Does…does Oscar know?"

Jaime was caught off guard by the question. Did Helen say Oscar? She knew? "How did you know? "

"Jaime, honey, you've got to tell both of them how you feel. It isn't fair to any of you. Chris will be hurt even more if you continue seeing him. He's a nice man but if he's not the one for you, you need to let him go. Don't settle for less. You can't force yourself to be in love with Chris or…Steve. You love who you love. Jaime, are you in love with Oscar?"

"I…yeah…I am. But what if…what if Oscar doesn't want to have a relationship? What if we can't because of the NSB or the Secretary? What…"

Helen took Jaime by the hands, "Jaime, there are no guarantees. He loves you and has for a very long time, I'm sure of that. If you love him, you both owe it to yourselves and each other to at least discuss your situation. Together you can decide what's best for you to do about it."

Helen ended with a little smile and squeezed Jaime's hands. Jaime's heart was pounding and her palm was sweating. She knew that Helen was right. She had to resolve things with both men. She hated to let Chris go and feared what might occur with Oscar but it was the right thing to do. "Thanks Mom, I appreciate your help. I've just been so confused and overwhelmed."

Jaime started working on getting a flight to Washington – the sooner, the better. A nervous, resolve had settled over her. At least she knew what she had to do but wasn't sure how she was going to do it. Knowing Chris wouldn't be home, Jaime called his number. "Hi Chris, sorry I missed your calls. I'll be in Washington tomorrow. Please meet me at the coffee shop near the Capital at 2. Bye."

Next she called Callahan. "Hi, Callahan. How are things?"

"Hi Jaime. Much the same around here. Are things okay at home? Did those idiots wreak the place?"

Jaime laughed a little "No, I did that before I left. Say, I'm going to be in Washington tomorrow, is Oscar going to be around then? I really need to talk to him about…things."

Callahan thought it odd that Jaime just didn't call him directly – she usually did. Why didn't she want him to know? "He's open after 1pm. What's going on? Is everything alright? I mean, usually you go straight to him."

"Well…I have some things to take care of before I get to the office so I don't want him waiting for me all day. You KNOW how he is." Jaime said with a slight giggle.

"Yeah, that's true. He's such an old woman sometimes." Callahan giggled back. Jaime wrapped up the call and hung up. She packed some clothes for a couple of days then nervously finished her day. Now that she knew what she needed to do the question was how to do it.

The flight to Washington was the longest she'd ever taken. Jaime went over in her mind what she was going to tell Chris and Oscar. Chris was going to be more difficult because she would be hurting him deeply. She hated the thought of that more and more but knew it couldn't be helped. Jaime thought, or at least hoped, talking to Oscar would bring happiness but she was concerned he would clam up when talking about his feelings.

Jaime arrived at the coffee shop and found Chris already there. She nervously smiled at him and quickly sat down before he could jump up to kiss her. If Chris thought it was odd he didn't let on. "Hi Jaime, I'm so glad to see you. How's it going?"

"Hi Chris, I'm doing well. We…need…to talk." Chris gave her a puzzled look as his heart skipped a beat. Jaime looked down, took a deep breath then told him. "I…have decided…I'm not going to see you anymore. I…um…feel that we've gone as far as we can. I…You're a wonderful man and I want you to know that I've enjoyed our time together but…I don't see a future…together. I know this is hurting you but … later would be much worst."

Chris looked like he had been hit by a baseball bat. He was shocked beyond words. His brain stopped working. He loved Jaime and didn't understand why she was dumping him. "Jaime, what are you saying? At the cabin…I mean… I love you."

Jaime didn't want to hear that although she knew it to be true. "I'm sorry Chris but…I care for you but…"

"You don't love me?" Chris asked with a wounded look.

Jaime had tears rolling down her cheeks. She shook her head no. "I'm so sorry." With that she stood up, kissed him on the cheek then left the coffee shop. As Jaime was driven by taxi to OSI headquarters, she cried. She cried for Chris and remembered the good times they'd had. She mourned the loss of a friend and regretted hurting him so. She also felt the shame of letting the relationship drag on for so long. They should have broken up when Jaime realized he wasn't the man for her and that she wouldn't fall in love with him.

She decided it was best to check into her hotel before she went to the OSI because she needed to stop crying. Jaime didn't know how she would handle it if her conversation with Oscar didn't have the happy ending she envisioned. She hoped she could control her feelings and get every thing across she needed to. The last thing I need to do, she told herself, was to start blubbering. He hated it when she cried. Jaime decided it probably be best if he knew she was on her way soon. She called his private line. Her heart was beating faster and faster as the phone rang. "Oscar Goldman" the voice said. There was a pause as Jaime found her voice "Hi Oscar."

TO BE CONTINUED -


End file.
